Magical Feelings
by Kuro-Tenshi Ariannel
Summary: kinda cliche title, i guess...or sappy...Fin's thoughts of the happenings of 'Tenshi Thoughts'


and the sequel to 'Tenshi Thoughts' is up. XD yay mes!

disclaimer: me no own. TT_TT but i would like Access.

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Fin fluttered around, tugging her long green hair nervously, feeling herself panic. True, it was all right for angels to have a 'special someone' and was even encouraged when an angel found a 'special someone forever' (in other words, someone they'll love for the rest of eternity). And while it was all right to have the feeling of love towards another angel, and even encouraged, there was also the fact that while the angel's love lasted for eternity, it could also be unrequited for eternity. What happened from there was usually the angel's choice. But that wasn't important. What was important, at least right now, was that Access wanted to talk to her.

And she was in love. With Access.

She had always liked the darker angel, and while she didn't always show it, she made sure she was always smiling at him and speaking kindly to him. And then, her beautiful silver hair had turned that ugly yellow-ish green, and she was horrified. How was she supposed to measure up to a poper angel now? The thought that made her barricade herself in her room was 'How was Access supposed to love an angel with green hair?' So, ashamed of her hair, she ignored Toki and Celcia's calls and pleads to come out of her room. Then Access came, pounding on the door as if he was trying to break her door down while complimenting her.

She came out then, holding the door opened enough for him, and only him, to look in while blushing. And she had asked him if he meant all the compliments he had been screaming at her door for the past half an hour (which was how long it took for her to open the door, becuase she didn't want to show him her ugly green hair). He had grinned, a gentle grin that made her go a few shades darker, saying "Of course I meant them, Fin-chan, when do I say things that I don't mean?" She had smiled then, a true, bright smile that made him turn red as well, and he held his hand out, asking her if she wanted to join him, Toki, and Celcia for a game. Fin smiled again, grabbing his hand and pulling him as she agreed. She turned darker when she realized he hadn't pulled away yet, and she gripped his hand the entire way there.

When they had gotten to Toki and Celcia, however, Fin pulled her hand away, wishing that Access wouldn't mind it if she kept his hand in hers. She laughed and talked with Toki and Celcia, forcing herself to be happy and wishing with all her might that Access would love her back. That he wouldn't look at her a just another angel friend, nothing more than that.

She had always, always, always wanted something more from Access, something more than just simple friendship.

But he would only laugh at her, as usual, and she kept her feelings to herself. She didn't want to ruin what friendship they had, and when he started getting in trouble doing things they weren't supposed to be doing, like eating Pel Fruit before they were supposed to, she hid the fact that she was hurt by teasing him, saying he'll never get promoted because he always did things like that. And she stopped smiling at him, and started scolding him for it, because she loved him and she wanted him to get promoted, to move up in the angel social ladder.

When Toki would talk to Fin, she would give him her complete attention. Or so it seemed, because she was always keeping an eye on Access. She wasn't trying to make the other angel jealous, she just wanted him to join them again, so they could be a group again, the group of four that was always together: Fin the spunky angel, Access the smart mouthed angel, Celcia the caring angel, and Toki the angel heartthrob. Fin couldn't see the image of Toki like that, and it was because she liked Access. She didn't realize that most of her conversations with him were mostly him flirting with her because the only angel she could think of was Access and she didn't think that any angel, Access included, could like an angel with green hair. So she laughed and smiled and talked with Toki, and scolded Access constantly. He would fight back, but after a few seconds he would fly away in anger and Fin would watch him sadly, wishing he knew the reason behind her scoldings. Then, biting back a sigh, she would turn to Celcia and smile again, and life would continue.

One day, Fin had come to meet with the group only to find that Access was in trouble again. When the angel finally joined, Fin yelled at him because she was furious that he had gotten himself into this much trouble. Because she was mad, she was actually insulting the darker-haired angel with venom, trying to hurt him with her words. Access had not defended himself the entire time she ranted and raved at him, choosing instead to stay silent, and then he flew off, as usual. Turning away from Access's retreating figure, Celcia glanced at Fin, who was glaring at him, and smiled lightly. "Fin-chan," she had said that time, "Fin-chan, why did you say that to Access-chan?" Celcia looked worried, and Fin couldn't think of what to do. Despite the fact that she tells Celcia everything, Fin still hadn't told the pretty silver-haired angel her love for Access. So Fin, still glaring, simply "Hmph!" and turned away. As soon as she turned away, she felt tears come into her eyes, wishing she hadn't said anything to Access. She barely heard Celcia leave, probably to go after Access or find Toki, and Fin couldn't bring herself to care. Access probably liked Celcia better anyway, because Celcia had more angel power than she did, and her hair was long and pure silver, and Celcia was still nice to him.

Fin felt tears come up and she didn't try to hide them because she was alone. She sat down and cried silently, rubbing her eyes and just feeling miserable. She only allowed herself to cry for a few minutes, then wiped her face, telling herself that she was an angel, and Celcia would be back soon, probably with Toki in tow, or Access, and if it was Access then Fin would have to apologize, and did she really want to apologize while she was crying? But then Celcia came back, and she was alone, and Fin cried again. Celcia wrapped her arms around Fin, and whispered soothing things in her ear, and Fin gradually stopped crying, and she looked up at her friend, and then both girls started giggling, Fin embarrassed for crying so much and Celcia because her shirt was now soaked with angel tears.

And then, Celcia and Fin were promoted to Jun-Tenshis, and what hurt the most was that Access didn't care. He just said "big whoop" and Fin scowled, noticing he was eating Pel Fruit again and commenting on it. Celcia had defended Access, saying he just wanted to go down to earth with her. Fin hoped silently that, despite his faults, Access would get promoted anyway, but that hope was dashed when Toki appeared, and she realized that he was the third Jun-Tenshi. She looked quickly at Access, frowning slightly, before turning to Toki and Celcia and smiling. She was excited to go to Earth, and Celcia shared her excitement. Toki grabbed a lock of her hair and brought it to his lips, saying something Fin didn't understand because he was touching her hair, her ugly hair, and he was smiling, and suddenly Access had his arms around Fin from behind and was claiming her as his. And she had responded by hitting him, yelling that she was **_not_** his, not because she didn't want to be his, but because he didn't love her and he was just being an idiot. She turned away and, ignoring the blush that had creeped onto her cheeks, continued talking to Toki and Celcia. She didn't even realize Access left, and she didn't know when.

Besides, Fin knew better than to even think that Access liked her as anything more than a friend, if that with how mean to him she could be.

And Fin thought that Access was mad at her, because he didn't come say goodbye to any of them, not even Celcia. She kept looking around, hoping to see his dark hair, but she never saw him and she forced herself to smile, to socialize and laugh with the other angels. Inside, however, Fin was hurt that Access wouldn't come to say goodbye to her. She still loved him, after all, and wanted to see him. But it wasn't until she was running down the hall, trying to get to where she would meet Toki and Celcia and go to Earth, that she even saw Access. To make it better, he had even asked her to meet with him. She had teased him, saying she would if she felt like it, and then laughed when the other angel practically had a heart attack, telling him that of course she would meet up with him. He looked so relieved, she had to smile at him one more time before leaving for Earth.

And then, on their final day on Earth, Toki had pulled her aside and told Fin that he loved her. Fin's eyes widened in shock, because she figured that no angel would like her, and now here was Toki confessing his love to her. She shook her head, apologizing, telling Toki that she already loved someone, and that it wasn't him. He looked slightly crushed, asking her who it was. Fin shook her head again, saying that she was going to tell that person first before she told anyone else. Toki bit his lip, asking if Celcia knew, and Fin said no, that not even Celcia knew that Fin loved anyone. And then she remembered her promise, and smiled in anticipation of what Access was going to tell her.

So when she came back, the first thing she did was hunt down Access, and the first place she went was the Pel Fruit forest, thinking that the Kuro-Tenshi was probably eating Pel Fruit when he wasn't supposed to...as usual. And what do you know, there he was, sitting on a branch, but not eating the heavenly fruit.

"Access?" He jumped about five feet and fell, face-first, out of the tree. Fin couldn't help it, and started laughing. She hide her smile behind her hand, trying not to get the Kuro-Tenshi mad. "Access, are you all right?"

"I'm fine, I'm fine." He muttered, turning red red. Fin pushed a lock of her long green hair behind her ear.

"Well?" He looked at her blankly. "You wanted to talk to me. I said I would listen. So, talk." He flushed darker.

"Right." Access paused, his finger under his chin. "Right. Um...Fin, I..." He sighed, and Fin wondered why...for about two seconds.

"Fin-chan!" Toki called. Fin turned, smiling brightly at the other Jun-Tenshi, but inwardly wincing---Access was trying to tell her something that was important. Toki landed next to Fin, turning to Access. "Hey, Access."

"Toki." Access said, smiling softly. Fin looked at the Kuro-Tenshi in confusion---he was faking a smile, and that was so unllike Access that she had to stare. He bowed to them before backing away.

"Wait!" Fin called out, hoping she didn't sound as desperate as she felt, making Access pause and look at her. "What were you going to say, Access?" His fake smile widened, making her frown more.

"Nothing, Fin-chan." She blinked. He had gone back to the formal-ish way of calling her, and it hurt---she liked it when he just called her 'Fin'. "It wasn't important, so forget it. Please."

"Fin-chan," Fin turned her attention from the retreating Tenshi to Toki. "Fin-chan, I really like you." She sighed. Toki smiled at Fin. "But you love Access, right?" Fin smiled softly.

"Yea." Toki looked after Access.

"Good luck, ok?" Fin looked at Toki. He laughed. "Don't worry, I won't say anything until you do, Fin-chan." She grinned at him.

"Actually, I think I'll confess tonight."

Fin couldn't wait for it to get dark, because she wanted to keep her confession a secret, not because she didn't want the other angels to know, but because she wanted to see the reaction when she walked into breakfast the next morning with Access's hand in her own.

It was much, much later when Fin knocked at his door. He opened it quickly, blinking in surprise when he saw Fin.

"Fin-chan?" He said softly.

"Access, I want to keep my promise, but you're not keeping yours. That makes it hard to keep mine." Access blinked again. Fin fought back the urge to giggle---he was so cute sometimes, and this time was no exception.

"Huh?" She giggled this time---she couldn't help it.

"You said you had something to tell me. What is it?" Fin watched Access carefully, wanting to know what her friend would say to her.

"Oh!" Access turned red again. She smiled. "I...uh, you..." He sighed, and Fin frowned, wondering if he had (somehow) gotten sick. "It doesn't matter, it's not important." Fin put her hands on her hips, not believing him. Why was he lying to her?

"Access Time, you are everything but a liar. If it wasn't important, you would've told me before I went to Earth. Tell me, please." Access sighed again.

"It's..." He closed his eyes. "Shouldn't you be with Toki?" Fin frowned, confused.

"Why would I be with Toki?"

"Didn't he confess earlier?" She blinked, wide-eyed, until what he said hit her.

"Yea. Well, actually, he confessed while we were on Earth." She didn't realize Access froze. "I turned him down."

"What?" Fin looked down at Access, confused because of the shock on his face. "Why would you do that?"

"Because I already love someone, and it wasn't him." Fin replied. She tried so hard to sound casual, but she was shaking inside. What would Access say to that?

"Oh." Fin almost bit her lip. Was that all he could say?

"Will you tell me now?" Fin asked, trying to get the spotlight off of her. "What you wanted to tell me? Please?" Access smiled lightly, shrugging.

"Fin, I-I-I love you." Access stuttered through his confession, turning bright red. She didn't seem to notice, though, and was staring at him as if he had grown a second head. Did he seriously just say...

"You...love....me....?" Fin repeated slowly. Access nodded.

"Which is why I've been in trouble so much, why I was always in trouble. I thought you liked Toki, and since I can't compete with an angel like him, and all I really want is for you to be happy, I had to get away from our group without actually, y'know, getting away and that seemed like the best option." He was babbling, but Fin was still shocked, trying out the words in her mind. Access loved her, Access loved her, Access loved her, with her long green hair and suddenly what he was saying wasn't important.

"Access." She cut across him in a whisper and he paused, looking at her. Fin smiled, reaching out and touching a lock of Access's long hair and bringing it to her lips, then stepping forward and hugging Access. "I love you, too, Access. You're the reason I turned down Toki." Access smiled and closed his eyes, touching Fin's hair before leaning down and kissing her softly.

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All right, there you go. Hope you people like it. O.o it's like, 2,700 words....o my gawd.


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